lost it

e belief of answer for your own performance was no where to be found at e pitch this evening. my vision was covered with an transparent cloth. couldn't get it off throughout e evening. my body was heavy, my breathing was hard and my legs were half-nailed to e ground. i am unable to display e minimum performance which was required at this stage. second to the ball, total lost in a game where i used to lead and excel.

disappointment filled e heart. i never expected this sort of rejected feel does exist in my life now. i always thought that my passion for e beloved game was up and i would not be feeling anything like what i'm feeling now ever. wrong bro, i was wrong. its nothing to lose to a better team but rather i am disappointed with myself.

feedback and comment from e players were hurtful and unpleasant but i swallowed all. its true that i am a disappointment this evening. in that split-second, e clock seems to bring me back to the late 90s - i was a rejected self in e domestic league. e only encouragement of e evening was where one of their main figure of e team invited me back again for e league game. i was thinking, did i manage to impress him with my sub-standard performance earlier? or maybe they are really down with players!

nobody knows me better than i do. e next step should be a second outing for e team, back to e pitch where i regained back all e confidence where i lost it this evening.